Man’s Job (Flash Fiction)

“Sorry honey, this is a man’s job.”
“Just what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you are not qualified and you need not apply.”
“I’m a skilled individual. I’ve worked in this field before.”
“As what? Desk jockey? We’re not hiring desk jockeys today.”
“I’m not a desk jockey.”
“Can you carry a hundred eighty pound load and climb up and down a three-story ladder in fifty seconds?”
“What? That’s bullshit. This is not a firefighting job. This is construction.”
“This is an emergency construction crew. We carry gear heavier than that up and down ladders in the middle of a storm. It’s not a job for a little person like you.”
“You haven’t even given me a test.”
“I’ve been in this business twenty years. I know a qualified worker when I see one.”
“If you hire me, I’ll prove myself.”
“Doing what? You gonna arm wrestle me?”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Nope. I’m not joking around. Everyone on this crew can arm wrestle me and win. You think you can carry your own weight? Arm wrestle me and prove it. Here, I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll use my left arm.”
“That’s… that’s not what I mean.”
“C’mon. You wanted a test. This will only take a few seconds.”
“No. I mean I can prove myself through work.”
“Listen, this is a really tough job. People get hurt. I don’t need someone on the team who can’t look after themselves.”
“You’re just being a jerk.”
“I know it hurts to be turned down for a job. But you gotta see it now. You’re just not fit.”
“This is totally unfair.”
“Don’t make me be rude to you, honey.”
“Just give me the experience, okay, because if you don’t, I’m going to sue you.”
The manager heaved a heavy sigh.
“Hey, Cindy! Get over here!”
“What’s up Mary?”
“Mr. Wilson here wants to experience our job. Will you haul him up ladder number three and see how he enjoys the view?”
“No problem, boss.”
The woman grabbed the little man by the belt and hoisted him onto her massive shoulder.
“Hey! What are you doing!” cried the man.
“Don’t worry Mr. Wilson, this is gonna be a fun ride.”

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